Because

Right then, switch off the lights, crash onto the bed. You’ve got a long day tomorrow and you need to get to sleep SOON. Gosh this mattress is uncomfortable I wonder why my parents bought this thick thing. I can’t even get comfortable… that bit just nudges you in the back. This way? Or maybe this way? I… ah.

Right, things you have to do tomorrow… should start writing that short paper, don’t want to rush it like you did with that Shakespeare paper back in Year Four, God I wish I hadn’t needed to do that kind of— it just doesn’t feel right for my studies. Also the part-times… you really need to start looking for something to do, something that…

Something in the way she moves me…
I don’t want to leave her now, you know I believe and how
ba ba ba barrrrw barrrrrw barrrrw.

That’s a good song. Love George and his weeping guitar… the way he brings out that passion… that longing…

I wonder what Janet and I are gonna be like in years? Should I even try to talk to her? People talked behind our backs, and I don’t want her to be pressu — I mean, I’m scared, I don’t want to tell her what’s going on… it has to be all right, right? It has to be. It has to be it has to be it has to be… could it? I should have kept off her back all those years. That incident at the park, should have said something to her… “you know how much I miss you”, maybe? No, that sounds cliched… “I’ve got lots of stuff I want to —” no that’s just crap.

Maybe I could —

(smack) “OW”

AAAAGGGGHHHH MY FUNNY BONE CRAP IT HURTS LIKE HELL I HATE THIS BED WHY IS THAT EVEN THERE I HATE YOU I HATE THIS BED damn I won’t be getting to sleep for some time, I mean how am I even gonna sleep… FORK it hurts.

I mean, I’ve known her for so many years, and now we’ve gone our ways — I mean, I could still like get in touch with her again, maybe, talk to her — but would it even make any — I mean, it needs so much work… it’s a long and winding road and I don’t know whether it can still like go on? I mean, it’s not something to get over with… I wish all the other people could give me a bit of advice on it, maybe even — stop it, man, you had your chance to ask and to have those conversations.

It doesn’t matter, does it? She’s gone. You’re not going to get her back… that’s another friend of yours down the drain… why? Why do you keep letting people slip away from you? When are you going to learn to buck up? You’ve lost so many opportunities and so many people that you held dear and so many of those times it was simply cause you weren’t brave enough to call her “darling”.

(sniff)

God. How am I going to sleep? What is it about chocolate ice-cream that keeps people awake? Suppose it’s the caffeine.

Can’t believe I allowed myself to be so taken in by a few songs… songs can’t be my life. There’s so much you can’t reach in songs. Not even the Beatles are so great as to understand everything in life. But who then?

Who else is there? I mean… you gotta look for people to care about, right? Audrey? I can never talk to again after that blowout. Gordon, Eric and the rest — no, too far away. It’s too late to look for them. But who else?

God, it’s just so damn hard to find somebody to love these days. I mean… is it even worth it? Like you’re in them… and nobody’s there. Nobody hears you. People don’t care. God, you are such a child sometimes. What makes you think you’re not loved? People like you. You’re funny. Not funny enough. Who cares about being funny enough? Is this a competition? Yes it is. Life’s always about survival of the fittest. Who says? You know you’re on the wrong side here.

You can’t even break down properly, can you? Shut up.

Think of something else, think of something else. When’s the Austen paper due? I… I think… maybe…

I need to pee.


God, this bunk bed is so hard to get in and out of… that climb definitely woke me up. How am I going to switch off my mind again? Damn this stupid bed, I could have worked out just by —

Or maybe I shouldn’t move on? I mean, I’ve known her so long… maybe she’s just wait — oh shut it.

Austen paper tomorrow… bit of the postcolonial stuff… Janet loves the postcol OH SHUT UP you really do have to start working on “The Secret Garden” too, the Moodle response is due and you know, deadlines. Also Janet — okay fine. What about Janet?

This aircon’s a bit loud, isn’t it?

God, I wish I knew how I could connect with people again. They just… disappear. Just like that. Where am I gonna find another set of friends again? What about that grad trip we were talking about?

Crossing Abbey Road together… four people together. Could work.

Just like that. What happened to friendship, what happened to the times we spent together?

I can’t even remember the last time we came together. It feels like years since we…

It feels like years since…

 since they’ve been here?

Here comes the Sun, doo doo doo doo
Here comes the Sun, and I say, it’s all right.

God, I love that one… what comes next? Oh, yeah…

Because the world is round, it turns me on…
I’d love to turn…

… no…

Because the world is round… ah…

That’s a beautiful… beautiful from the Moonlight Sonata right there… I wonder how John did it, really? Think of that?

I wonder what Janet thinks of the Beatles?

Look, that Moon out there. Wonder if they’re seeing the same thing…

I miss them all. People to talk to, to laugh with.

 

I miss them.

 

George says it’ll be alright… how?

 

Always the same. “The love you take is equal to the love you make.” So love yourself and love other people. Care for them.

Easy to say.

Hard to do.

Why not try though?

 

Why not?

 

Because…

 

Because…

 

Flying… night…

 

wings…

 

ocean…

 

 

shadows.

 

 

Because… the wind is… high… ah…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love i… all… you…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Just for fun. 🙂

Happy birthday, Abbey Road!

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