The Death of a Relationship in Four Viennese Courses

First course. Sauerkraut.
A lump on the plate, its leaves flaccid and limp and unfeeling
Like tentacles that reach out and try to consume you
It dares me to eat it, but the moment I bite down
Its sourness attacks me, thrashing around in my mouth
Its acidity eating at my insides, its awfulness stinging me to no end
She said that I was rubbish and unworthy of her love
She said I’m as stupid as any person could be
Am I like that? A piece of trash nobody wants
It swallows me whole, it’s too much to bear
I reach for the glass, wash down the despair
And allow the water to replace my tears with numbness

Second course. Schnitzel.
The skin is salty and parched, yet bursting with flavour
Its coarseness is a shock, jolting me back to reality
The dry, unfeeling, salty, horror of it all
Cause it’s over, she’s left me, and it’s time to wake up
The skin tells me to stop moaning, to face the hard facts
I try to get past it, but it still lingers, slapping me in the face
Until I finally break through, and the warmth of the schnitzel spreads
I feel it ardently, the heat of the flesh of the slaughtered pig
Fresh from the rotisserie, it scorches me from the inside
Burns away her existence, leaves me wistful… but satisfied…
I accept the bare facts and move on resolutely, not looking back

Dessert. Sachertorte.
A mountain of chocolatey goodness, its sweetness wafting up to me
The chocolate fills my mouth, and sweetness envelops me
It comforts me and tells me it’s okay
The hand of the pastry reaches down, strokes my cheek
And reminds me that though she is gone
There is life to look forward to, and other things that can excite me
This cake sweeps her from my mind and fills my mind with hope
The cake has crumbled, but I will not
For hope is always there, and I can do without her
Just as I did before I surrendered to her charms
Hope comes in small fragments, and before long this fragment is gone

Drinks. Coffee.
The night is young and a grosse schwarze is in order
The darkness of the situation blatantly shows
The bitterness of it charges straight into my gut
And courses through my veins, turning into caffeine
I feel myself gaining strength and power
The aftertaste doesn’t cause nausea, it inspires action
For I have decided, right there and then, that I will not despair
I will show her that I’M MADE OF STRONG STUFF
From the depths of my darkest hours I will rise again like a phoenix
And I will prove to the world that


I wrote this back in May 2016, and I had no idea what I was doing back then, but suffice it to say that I was NOT suffering from any relationship problems (mainly because they were non-existent), and I only came up with this because I thought it a nice follow-up to my Parisian story “The Metro Wanderer” (since retracted and undergoing massive rewriting), and because I couldn’t sleep one night. I jotted this down, then immediately fell back into my bed and began snoring.

Hope it was fun for you reading it anyway!

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